Monday, December 1, 2014

This Man Confessed To Being Spider-Man In A Beautiful Obituary

Aaron Joseph Purmort, who last week lost “a battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer”, also left instructions for his young son to avenge his death.


But Aaron, an art director by day, wanted to be remembered in his own special way, and also had some amazing secrets to divulge to his loved ones.


So Aaron wrote this obituary for himself to be published after his death. It ran in the Star Tribune on Sunday.


So Aaron wrote this obituary for himself to be published after his death. It ran in the Star Tribune on Sunday.


startribune.com


Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long.


Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city. His family knew him only as a kind and mild-mannered Art Director, a designer of websites and t-shirts, and concert posters who always had the right cardigan and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate).


Aaron was known for his long, entertaining stories, which he loved to repeat often. In high school, he was in the band The Asparagus Children, which reached critical acclaim in the northern suburbs.


As an adult, he graduated from the College of Visual Arts (which also died an untimely death recently) and worked in several agencies around Minneapolis, settling in as an Interactive Associate Creative Director at Colle + McVoy.


Aaron was a comic book aficionado, a pop-culture encyclopedia and always the most fun person at any party.


He is survived by his parents Bill and Kim Kuhlmeyer, father Mark Purmort (Patricia, Autumn, Aly), sisters Erika and Nicole, first wife Gwen Stefani, current wife Nora and their son Ralph, who will grow up to avenge his father's untimely death.


A service will be held on December 3, 2014 at Shelter Studios, 721 Harding St. NE, Mpls 55413 at 6 pm.


He describes his cancer diagnosis as resulting from "a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long."




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