This is what nightmares are made of.
Mr. Jack Mouth with Mustache
This is the goddamn creepiest-looking mouth I have ever seen in my life. This is not what mouths look like. What are those THINGS in his throat?? Stop that. I'm pretty sure I once saw this in a horror movie because that is the only place where this disembodied monstrosity would be even remotely OK.
King Dong
"Super-sized novelty dildo measures 15 inches long and over 2 inches wide." For, you know, all those times when your giant 14-inch dildo just isn't cutting it.
Baby Jesus Butt Plug
... This is just wrong on so many levels. Why does this exist. Just why. There is something incredibly unsettling about a sex toy with a smiling baby's face on it, but you do you (literally). (Jackhammer Jesus gets an honorable mention!)
The Cannon
FOR WHEN EVEN KING DONG ISN'T ENOUGH FOR YOU.
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