Wednesday, April 2, 2014

70 Thoughts Every Californian Has During An Earthquake

Is this the big one?



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1. OMG


2. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG


3. WHAT IS HAPPENING?


4. EARTHQUAKE!?!?!!!


5. I'M GOING TO DIE.


6. OKAY CALM DOWN


7. What do I do?


8. Get under the table?


9. Triangle of Life?


10. No, that's not real.


11. Get in a door frame?


12. Okay, I'm in a door frame.


13. How is this door frame going to save me?


14. I'm going to die in this door frame.


15. Is this the big one?


FIVE SECONDS


FIVE SECONDS


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16. Why is it still shaking?


17. THINGS ARE FALLING


18. OH NO MY TV IT'S NOT BOLTED TO THE WALL


19. It was time for a new one anyway.


20. Should I run outside?


21. No, that's when the building will collapse on me.


22. Can I leap from this door frame and get under the table before --


23. AHHH FALLING BOOK SHELF


24. OH NO THE POWER JUST WENT OUT


25. Where are my flashlights?


26. I'll never make it to them alive.


27. Stop shaking please.


28. Lord Jesus Mother of Christ Moses Abraham Lincoln Joseph Mary


29. DEAR GOD LET IT END




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