Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Comedians Answer Random Questions On The American Comedy Awards Red Carpet

Seth Rogen, Bill Hader, Hannibal Buress and more answer important questions like what they would say to Oprah if they got the chance to talk to her.



If you could say anything to Oprah, what would you say?


EG: Quit fucking everything up. Get your shit together!


SR: For god sakes! What the fuck are you doing over there!


What do you think is the grossest thing about middle school?


EG: We don't have middle school in Canada, you just go 8-12. So the whole premise disgusts me.


SR: The whole thing is revolting! And damn you for asking us!


Who is the last person that has wronged you?


SR: Ironically Oprah.


EG: The shit that woman has done to us.


SR: It's unspeakable. Until the lawuit is finished, I can't speak about it.


Michael Loccisano / Getty Images



What do you think is the grossest part about middle school?


Erections in sweatpants.


When's the last time you fell off a bike?


The last time I fell off a bike actually is when I got hit by a car. When I was in Chicago I biked everywhere, and a car hit me from behind. No one was hurt, I mean the person in the car was fine, so it would have been me.


Who is the last person that's wronged you?


You know what there's this dude in L.A., we are sort of tangentially related. I saw him pretty recently at an audition and I said, "Hey man, hows it going?" and I stuck my hand out for him to shake it or whatever, and the fucker big-timed me. He wouldn't even raise his hand! And in my head I thought, I'm going to remember this until the day I fucking die.


Michael Loccisano / Getty Images



There's some breaking news happening at this moment actually, George Clooney is engaged, how do you feel about it?


I just heard that, that he's engaged to some very sucessful lawyer! I hope it's Alan Dershowitz. That would be fun, because there's been some rumors about George Clooney througout the years so we'll see. I don't know much about the person he's engaged too, but I wish them all the best. It's going to be a nice Christmas in Lake Como, i'm sure.


What do you think is the grossest part about middle school?


I had a girlfriend in middle school actually, as sometimes we do in middle school, and I was really mean to her, which I'm sure comes as no surprise to anyone. I'm actually not that mean in real life, but at the time i was mean to her and I would do really bad things like give her deodorant and stuff and tell her she smells. I think this was actually after we broke up, so I was getting back at her in front of everyone. I was a nightmare.


Who is the last person you texted?


The last person I texted was probably my best friend Robin, he's in Iowa right now. And he had food poisoning so that was fun. I was like, "Oh I'm nervous, I'm presenting at the American Comedy Awards tonight," and he was like, "Oh I have food poisoning," and I was like, "Oh, OK bye!" I have my own life to deal with thanks.




You just did a segment on Billy On The Street called "It's not Amy Poehler, it's Pitbull," but what are your true feelings on Pitbull?


You know, I don't mind Pitbull at all. He doesn't seem like a bad guy. I think his feet are firmly planted on the ground. I once read that he sees himself having like a billion dollar worldwide industry, like Pitbull is this huge international brand, and I think he's like the next NASA. I think it's going to be that big.


Michael Loccisano / Getty Images



What do you think was the grossest part about middle school?


I guess the frustrating gross part was that I never learned how to do the fart noise, with the arm. I still want to, why can't I? Boys didn't wear shirts sometimes, so it was much easier flesh on flesh, anyway. It's just a frustration.


If you could say anything to Oprah, what would you want to say to her?


Are you my mother? Because she is a delight, I love Ops.


Who is the last person you texted?


I just texted my friend who is watching my dogs. And they are doing great, she loves them. They are old and overweight; don't tell them I said that.


Michael Loccisano / Getty Images




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