It is evident in the wake of #YesAllWomen that saying “no” to men often threatens women’s safety. I asked my co-workers to share their experiences.
BuzzFeed / Chris Ritter
"When I was a college freshman, there was an older guy (senior) who decided to take interest in me. I was obviously younger than him, and truth be told, I wasn't interested in him in the least. I told him this in what I thought was a nice way, explaining that I just saw him as a friend.
He didn't take no for an answer. He began showing up to the same places I was, sending me flowers, buying me gifts, having his friends Facebook message me, chat me, text me, call me, etc. It got so extreme that I felt almost as if I should go on a date with him JUST TO GET HIM TO STFU.
One night at a party, he and a bunch of his friends came toward me and asked me why I thought I was too good for him. I was terrified. They had been drinking, and in that moment I started to flat-out panic. He tried to kiss me, I ducked, and nothing happened... but I've never forgotten that. It seems minor compared to most, which is what scares me, because that moment has never left me."
—Lara Parker
"When I was in the sixth grade, a boy in my class kept trying to hold my hand at our school dance. I told him to stop, and when I did, he stomped away to the bathroom and tore a paper towel dispenser off the wall. He ran back and yelled at me that he was going to bring a gun to school on Monday because of what I had done. When I told the teacher who was chaperoning the dance, she asked me what I'd done to upset him so much."
—Anonymous
"This is actually pretty recent, but it's the first time I experienced street harassment that went beyond a quick cat call, a gross comment, etc.
I'm sure other people have way worse stories than this, but just the other day I was walking from my boyfriend's apartment to my apartment and a man pulled up next to me on his bike and followed me for blocks, telling me I was beautiful, asking for my number, etc. I couldn't get away from him because he was on a bike, I was on foot, and this was in the small Bloomingdale neighborhood of Washington, D.C., where the sidewalks are narrow and there aren't many stores and things to duck into.
I used the 'I have a boyfriend' line because I was afraid it would anger him if I simply told him to fuck off. But even that didn't stop him, he kept being like, 'I hope your boyfriend tells you every day how beautiful you are' and other creepy stuff. I was really worried he was going to follow me all the way to my house and didn't really know what to do. Finally he did leave me alone but I was very conscious that it could have escalated."
—Rosie Gray
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