Thursday, October 31, 2013

“There’s Something Inside of Me”: Coming Out As A Gay Horror Fan

My transition from scared kid to die-hard horror devotee was a lot like coming out of the closet. As it turns out, I’m not the only gay man who feels that way.



John Gara / BuzzFeed


"What kind of faggot runs around in a Christmas sweater?"


Those words weren't spoken to me, but they stung just the same. In Freddy vs. Jason, 2003's long-awaited Nightmare on Elm StreetFriday the 13th crossover, Kia (Kelly Rowland) taunts Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) by mocking his weapons, his outfit, and yes, his sexual identity. Long after she's macheted by Jason, her slur lingered in my head. Was Freddy queer?


That might explain some things. As a child, there was no movie monster more often on my mind than Freddy Krueger. I was repulsed by him — too terrified by the mere concept to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street or any of its sequels — but I was drawn to him all the same. I remember browsing the "Horror" section at Blockbuster, regarding the box art for the Nightmare films with a sort of breathless anxiety: Would I ever be ready to follow through and rent one?


By the time Freddy vs. Jason came out, I was almost 17. I wasn't entirely out, but I'd told friends and maintained a healthy number of crushes on straight classmates. I'd also been called a "faggot." There was something so abhorrent about Freddy Krueger being cut down with the same word, not because it's inherently offensive, but because it aligned us in a way I'd never let myself consider.


There was something different about Freddy, and it wasn't that he was a dead child murderer who returned to kill new victims in their dreams. What scared me more than his burned face and knife-fingers were his winks and sass. He was so out there — and it looked like he was having fun. It would be silly to say Freddy frightened me because I saw myself in him: As a teenager, I was nowhere near that snarky. But I felt a connection, however subtle, and it's something that took me years to articulate.



New Line Cinema / Chris Ritter for BuzzFeed


"In many ways you could argue that Freddy is essentially a drag queen," filmmaker Joshua Grannell told me. "He had the bitchiest quips. He had the most fantastic accessories. His makeup was over-the-top. I'm not trying to reach too far here. For me, there's a big connection."


And Grannell knows drag: He's the man behind the drag persona Peaches Christ, San Francisco's queen of midnight movies — a sort of queerer Elvira, if such a thing is possible. Grannell is also the writer and director of the drag slasher film All About Evil, which is how we met. I was an extra for one very long weekend.


I contacted Grannell and other gay men I consider horror aficionados to get a better handle on a question I've mulled over for years: Why do gay men love horror? I remember my transition from a kid too fearful of boogeymen to sleep with the lights off to a gore fiend who gleefully looks for any excuse to bring up Halloween in casual conversation. And in many ways, I liken it to my experience coming out: Both involved first coming to terms with my identity, then abandoning fear, and finally sharing it with the world.


It turns out, I'm not alone. While investigating, I reached out to Jeffery Self, co-screenwriter and star of the upcoming queer horror film You're Killing Me . Like me, Self has always been attracted to horror but had kept himself from watching it because he was, in his words, "really anti–getting scared." And again, there was likely something deeper going on.


"We, as gay men, gravitate toward things that are over-the-top, I think because our conditions growing up are heightened, in that we're holding on to all these secrets a lot of times," he told me. "So the idea of something that's even more heightened in the world of a horror movie is exciting."


Exciting, yes — but also terrifying. There is a taboo to liking horror, to seeking out images of gore and violence, but perhaps more importantly, to finding something relatable about a psycho killer. And yet, for many gay men — myself included — there's a vague kinship felt with quiet loner Michael Myers, eccentric weirdo Freddy Krueger, and deranged mama's boys Jason Voorhees and Norman Bates.




View Entire List ›


15 Slightly Disconcerting Things About Being An American In London

Dear London: Just fix all of these things before my next visit. (Oh, and get some express trains while you’re at it.)


The size of British money.


The size of British money.


You notice something? Your bank notes are entirely too big for a normal wallet.


Shutterstock.com


Volts.


Volts.


We just want to charge our stuff, please don't bring joules into this.


Dan Oshinsky / BuzzFeed





View Entire List ›


24 Movie Scenes That Will Make You Hungry

WARNING: Do not read if you haven’t eaten yet.



TriStar



moviesandfood.tumblr.com


Anytime they eat in Defending Your Life.


Anytime they eat in Defending Your Life .


Since the characters are in a purgatorial city of sorts waiting to go to Heaven, all the food they eat is supposed to be the best they ever had.


Warner Bros. / Via youtube.com




View Entire List ›


23 Inspirational Signs From The Church Championing Gay Marriage

Gosford Anglican Church brings you the Word of God. Religion with a twist.


An Australian church is ruffling feathers.


An Australian church is ruffling feathers.


Anglican Parish of Gosford / Via Facebook: anggos


The snappy signs have won Gosford Anglican Church thousands of Facebook likes.


The snappy signs have won Gosford Anglican Church thousands of Facebook likes.


Anglican Parish of Gosford / Via Facebook: anggos


They're the work of Gosford's Father Rod Bower.


They're the work of Gosford's Father Rod Bower.


Facebook: anggos / Via Anglican Parish of Gosford


Rod channels the Word of God.


Rod channels the Word of God.


Anglican Parish of Gosford / Via Facebook: anggos




View Entire List ›


21 Signs Your Cat Thinks It's A Human

Ha! It thinks it’s people!


Your cat thinks he can play the piano.


Your cat thinks he can play the piano.


Disney Animations / Via animated-disney-gifs.tumblr.com


Your cat likes to sleep in your bed.


Your cat likes to sleep in your bed.


Disne Animations / Via animated-disney-gifs.tumblr.com


Your cat likes to climb on top of your electronic devices, as if he knows how to use them.


Your cat likes to climb on top of your electronic devices, as if he knows how to use them.


Cartoon Network / Via animated-disney-gifs.tumblr.com


Your cat likes to try people food.


Your cat likes to try people food.


Cartoon Network / Via lunatictoons.tumblr.com




View Entire List ›


13 Times When Tumblr Wished For Something That Already Existed

Tide's Halloween Vines Are Fun

Nice use of the app, tagged with a perfect copy line.


"The Shining"



"Psycho"



"Poltergeist"



"The Ring"





View Entire List ›


24 Quotes That Will Inspire You To Write More

From J.K. Rowling, Ray Bradbury, Maya Angelou, and a bunch of other people who know what they’re talking about. NaNoWriMo, anyone?




Carlo Allegri / Reuters



Charles Leonio / Getty Images



File / AP




View Entire List ›


Goosebump-Tacular NBA Video Sees Into The Future

“If it can be seen, can it be done?”


TNT just debuted a new promo video, showing the "future" of the NBA, which includes LeBron starring in the dunk contest, Kobe retiring, Derrick Rose breaking the Bulls' scoring record, and much, much more, like...


The Oklahoma City Thunder becoming champs.


The Oklahoma City Thunder becoming champs.


James Harden winning the MVP award.


James Harden winning the MVP award.


The beginning of a new dynasty in Los Angeles.


The beginning of a new dynasty in Los Angeles.




View Entire List ›


The FAA Will Finally Allow You To Use Electronic Devices During The Entire Flight

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

19 Reasons Cory And Shawn Were The Most Important Couple On "Boy Meets World"

Yeah, yeah, Topanga, blah blah. Cory and Shawn were meant for each other.


Because even from the beginning everyone knew they were perfect for each other.


Because even from the beginning everyone knew they were perfect for each other.


fyeahhboymeetsworld.tumblr.com


Because Cory could always rely on Shawn when everyone else fell through.


Because Cory could always rely on Shawn when everyone else fell through.


mickymilkovich.tumblr.com


Because Cory wouldn't let Shawn go.


Because Cory wouldn't let Shawn go.


itscorymatthews.tumblr.com


Because they could barely be apart from each other.


Because they could barely be apart from each other.


mareluna3001.tumblr.com




View Entire List ›


Sorry, But This Will Ruin Haim's "The Wire" For You

Or it might actually make you love it more. Either way, once you hear this, you can’t unhear it.


Haim's song "The Wire" is one of the best songs of 2013. It's just a fact.



youtube.com


But hmmmmmmm. That opening line...something about it sounds so familiar.


But hmmmmmmm. That opening line...something about it sounds so familiar.


Do you want to know what it is?


Do you want to know what it is?


Via haimthebandcentral.com


Are you sure?


Are you sure ?




View Entire List ›


Toronto Police Have The Rob Ford Crack Video

Chief Bill Blair said Thursday in a news conference that police have obtained a video of Mayor Ford that is “consistent with what has previously been reported in the media,” and he is “disappointed” in what he watched.



Toronto Police Video Services


After Gawker and the Toronto Star revealed the existence of a video earlier this year of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford allegedly smoking crack cocaine with drug dealers, Ford fired back, stating that there absolutely was no video.


Toronto Police Chief Bill Blair said today that there is, in fact, a video.


In a news conference Thursday, Blair said his department has obtained a video featuring Mayor Ford that is "consistent with what has previously been reported in the media."


Blair would not divulge what he saw when he watched the clip, but he did say he is "disappointed" in its content.


The video was seized by Toronto PD on Oct. 29 during a forensic investigation of a hard drive related to the case, Blair said.


A 476-page warrant was released to the media Thursday detailing the charges against Ford friend and driver Sandro Lisi, who police are charging with extortion.


Blair says the video will be presented in court.


The documents released today contain surveillance photos of Ford and Lisi together.


The documents released today contain surveillance photos of Ford and Lisi together.


Twitter: @reporterdonpeat


Toronto police launched the investigation into Ford following the allegations that video of Ford smoking crack exists.


Toronto police launched the investigation into Ford following the allegations that video of Ford smoking crack exists.


Twitter: @robyndoolittle




View Entire List ›


If Disney Princesses Had Normal-Size Eyes

Forget hair. Disney princesses gave me unrealistic expectations of eyes.


Ariel


Ariel


Walt Disney Pictures



BuzzFeed / Walt Disney Pictures


Jasmine


Jasmine


Walt Disney Pictures



BuzzFeed / Walt Disney Pictures




View Entire List ›


Watch Kristen Stewart Make Robert Pattinson And Taylor Lautner Laugh On The "Twilight" Set

She’s a really good sport, you guys. Exclusive video!


In these exclusive outtakes from the new Twilight Forever: The Complete Saga Blu-ray (out Nov. 5), Kristen Stewart demonstrates the hardship of working constantly with two kinda doofy dudes.


View Video ›


Summit Entertainment


All Kristen wanted to do was talk through the scene, and Robert Pattinson makes fun of her.


All Kristen wanted to do was talk through the scene, and Robert Pattinson makes fun of her.


Summit Entertainment


Taylor Lautner especially thinks it's hilarious!


Taylor Lautner especially thinks it's hilarious!


Summit Entertainment


But good sport that she is, Kristen just plays along.


But good sport that she is, Kristen just plays along.


Summit Entertainment




View Entire List ›


Ellen Degeneres Has Won Halloween With Her Nicki Minaj Costume

Bravo Ellen, bravo!


Is that Nick — OMG IT'S ELLEN.


Is that Nick — OMG IT'S ELLEN.


And she couldn't get enough of her new boobs:


And she couldn't get enough of her new boobs:


Like, really couldn't get enough.


Like, really couldn't get enough.


The outfit was based off this Nicki Minaj outfit from when she was on Ellen's show:


The outfit was based off this Nicki Minaj outfit from when she was on Ellen's show:




View Entire List ›