Friday, January 31, 2014

10 Short Stories You Should Read This Winter

Curl up by the fire with these quick tales about being an inadequate father, stalking your chemistry teacher, and generally feeling a great deal of despair.


"The Winter Father" by Andre Dubus


"The Winter Father" by Andre Dubus


Summary: A divorced father attempts to navigate the indignities of dating at middle-age while being a father to his increasingly estranged children all with a bleak winter backdrop rendered in the most Dubusian language.


Excerpt: "Kathi was six, had long red hair and a face that Peter had fallen in love with, a face that had once been pierced by glass the shape of a long dagger blade. In early spring a year ago: he still had not taken the storm windows off the screen doors; he was bringing his lunch to the patio, he did not know Kathi was following him, and holding his plate and mug he had pushed the door open with his shoulder, stepped outside, heard the crash and her scream, and turned to see her gripping then pulling the long shard from her cheek. She got it out before he reached her."


So cold it's like: Being unable to distinguish between the smoke from your cigarette and your breath in the air as you stand outside the bar after one too many.


flickr.com


"Tributaries" by Ramona Asubel


"Tributaries" by Ramona Asubel


Summary: In a surreally rendered community of people who grow limbs that physically reflect the nature of their love, this story is centered around school where children grow up wanting to have additional, fully formed arms that reflect a similar kind of love, but the teachers and adults know that love is much more complicated than that.


Excerpt: “Who is this hand for?” Jan asks, filing the first nails. “That’s Abe Lincoln and next to that is my father. Those were the first two. They grew when I was eighteen and I went to Washington for the summer. I sat on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and read his biographies. I watched the lump grow to a ball, and then a wrist. The fingers started the same way, lumps and then balls.” Jan massages a jewel of lotion in the palm. “My father called to tell me he was leaving to live in Kentucky with a new woman. ‘I love you even though I don’t love your mother,’ he told me, and right then, all at once, this hand erupted out of my chest.”


So cold it's like: Getting frostbite so badly you start hallucinating.


You can read the whole story here.


ecx.images-amazon.com


"In The Rain" by Stephen Barthelme


"In The Rain" by Stephen Barthelme


Summary: A man loses his ex-wife's cat before a week long rainstorm. The ensuing torrent of guilt and helplessness is captured perfectly in Barthelme's stoic prose.


Excerpt: "My clothes were drenched by this time, and the whole front of me was so filthy I felt like a kid. I rolled over in the water in the garden to get mud all over the back of me too. I was laughing, taking a mud bath. I sat up against the back wall of the house and shielded my eyes with my hand to look at my neighbor’s house. He has a better life than I have, I thought, and he’s a Republican. It’s not supposed to be that way. He even loves that fetishistic little dog. Think I’ll just sit here until my cat comes home. I tried to pick up some mud, but it drained through my fingers, so I dug down and got drier dirt, and brought it up and compressed it into a clod, and threw it at his house. Clods for clods, I thought. Cat’s dead. Life is stupid, most of it."


So cold it's like: Having to walk home in a cold rain after your car broke down, but you're so tired that you just accept it.


You can read it here.


electricliterature.com


"The First Day Of Winter" by Breece D'J Pancake


"The First Day Of Winter" by Breece D'J Pancake


Summary: A story of a boy and his aging parents set against the background of a world slowly growing cold written by a gone-too-young prodigal author.


Excerpt: In the faded morning the land looked scarred. The first snows had already come, melted, sealed the hills with a heavy frost the sun could not soften. Cold winds had peeled away the last clinging oak leaves, left the hills a quiet gray-brown that sloped into the valley on either side. He saw the old man’s hair bending in the wind. “Come on inside, you’ll catch cold.” “You going hunting like I asked?” “I’ll go hunting.”


So cold it's like: Being snowed inside a poorly insulated house with a lone space heater to keep you warm.


Read more about the story here.


(h/t Isaac Fitzgerald)


media.npr.org




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Here's What Seventeen Magazine Thought The "Friends" Girls Carried In Their Bags

The year: 1996. The bag: The mini-backpack.


In the November 1996 issue of Seventeen, editors took a stab at putting together bags representing each Friends character. Let's take a look at what they thought each lady might carry...


In the November 1996 issue of Seventeen , editors took a stab at putting together bags representing each Friends character. Let's take a look at what they thought each lady might carry...


Flickr: lookinthetunk


Monica: A Filofax, Sony Sports Walkman, and paperclips.


Monica: A Filofax, Sony Sports Walkman, and paperclips.


Phoebe got a fleece mini-backpack filled with a funky address book, a corduroy pouch, and cat hair clips (yes, please!).


Phoebe got a fleece mini-backpack filled with a funky address book, a corduroy pouch, and cat hair clips (yes, please!).


In Rachel's hot pink Kipling (remember those?) backpack, she would pack a furry pencil, cartoonish hair clips, and an "I <3 Ross" necklace? Hmm.


In Rachel&#39;s hot pink Kipling (remember those?) backpack, she would pack a furry pencil, cartoonish hair clips, and an "I &lt;3 Ross" necklace? Hmm.




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9 Board Games To Get Really Excited About This Year

2014 looks to be an AMAZING year for board games!


Sails of Glory


Sails of Glory


Why you should play it: If you want a truly complicated game, look no further than Sails of Glory. Set in the Napoleonic Wars, you pit yourself against an opponent on the open seas. The complications comes for its depth. You need to take into account rigging, wind and all sorts of nautical awesomeness if you want to win you own Trafalgar.



Is it available:
Yes, successfully Kickstarted.


Play if you like: The wind in your hair, wearing an eyepatch and the Damnable French.


Via aresgames.eu


Kremlin


Kremlin


Why you should play it: Does this board look ancient? Well that's is because it is as Kremlin was initially released in the 1980s. Jolly Roger Games has decided to take it upon themselves to reprint this game where you backstab your way to the top of the Politburo. They have even updated the game so you can play as everyone's favorite badboy: Yeltsin


Is it available: Yes, successfully Kickstarted.


Play if you like: Onion domes, making new enemies or you long for the Cold War.


Via amazon.com


Cornish Smuggler


Cornish Smuggler


Why you should play it: Besides the beautiful board, Cornish Smuggler takes on incredibly difficult subject matter and makes it highly entertaining for even the casual play. Bribe customs agents, run the narrows and see what it was like to make a dishonest coin in Merry Olde England.


It it available: Yes, successfully Kickstarted



Play if you like
: Breaking the law, tri-corner hats and slipping into the shallows and midnight.


Via boardgamegeek.com


Masters of the Gridiron


Masters of the Gridiron


Why you should play it: For fans of Strat-O-Matic, Masters of the Gridiron is a welcome reprieve from number crunching and hours long game play. At 15 minutes a game, you get a fast paced game with some actual strategy thrown in. It is rare to find speed and whimsy thrown into a sports game, but Masters of the Gridiron appeals to hardcore fans and casual gamers alike.



It is available:
Currently in Kickstarter.


Play if you like: Freezing your butt off in NJ, Magic: The Gathering without the mockery and reminding your friends that you are better at sports.


Via boardgamegeek.com




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Obama's Labor Department Refuses To Say If It's Protecting Trans Workers

“[W]e have nothing new on this,” a senior advisor says.



Molly Riley, File / AP


WASHINGTON — A senior adviser to Labor Secretary Tom Perez refused Friday to answer a longstanding question about whether the department is protecting transgender employees of federal contractors from discrimination.


In April 2012, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission ruled that Title VII's sex discrimination ban includes gender identity-based discrimination against transgender people. Under the policies of the Labor Department's Office of Federal Contract Compliance Programs (OFCCP), it was expected that office would enforce an executive order that bans federal contractors from discriminating on the basis of sex, among other factors, to include a ban on gender identity-based discrimination.


For the past 20 months, however, Labor Department officials — including former Secretary Hilda Solis and OFCCP Director Patricia Shiu — have refused to say whether the department is including transgender workers in its enforcement of the existing executive order.


On Friday, Labor Department spokesman Carl Fillichio told BuzzFeed that Perez would not speak with BuzzFeed about a series of questions relating to LGBT rights, including a question about Executive Order 11246, at this time. Asked if the department would instead provide answers in writing to the questions, previously submitted to Fillichio, he responded Friday afternoon, "Thanks. [W]ill decline that too, as we have nothing new on this."


Beginning on May 4, 2012, Metro Weekly reported:



Since April 27, Metro Weekly has been asking the Department of Labor to detail the implications for OFCCP of the Apr. 20 EEOC decision and has not received any information from Labor as of this report.



In July 2012, BuzzFeed reported:



Further conversations with Labor Department officials ... resulted in no response as to whether the federal contract compliance office was, for example, advising federal contractors — like the three major contractors awarded new contracts recently — that they could be violating Executive Order 11246 if they discriminate against an employee based on gender identity, which would be the case if the executive order is interpreted in alignment with the EEOC's ruling in [Mia] Macy's case.



More than a year later, a month after Perez took over as secretary of the Labor Department, BuzzFeed reported in August 2013:



The Labor Department, however, has issued no public guidance about the issue, and officials have refused repeated requests for comment on the issue. ... As recently as Tuesday afternoon, however, Labor Department representatives could not immediately provide an answer about whether its enforcement of the executive order includes anti-transgender discrimination and did not respond with an answer, as a spokesman said would be provided. ... As recently as last week, though, a department spokeswoman, Laura McGinnis, told BuzzFeed, "I don't have anything on that, I'm afraid, but I'll let you know if anything changes."



Most recently, in December 2012, BuzzFeed reported:



Patricia Shiu, the director of the Office of Federal Contract Compliance Programs, would not say Wednesday whether her office includes transgender workers in its enforcement of Executive Order 11246, which bans federal contractors from discriminating in employment.



8 Types Of Friends You Want In Your Late Twenties

‘Cause friends are forever.


The High School Friend


The High School Friend


Why: This friend writes on your Facebook wall, tweets you, AND sends you a text on your birthday. You may not talk everyday any more, but when you do see them, everything's just perfect.


Bonus Points: They save you from awkward family gatherings when you're visiting your hometown because, well, you “have to go get drinks with them since you only see them once a year.”


Nickelodeon / Via drakeand-josh.tumblr.com


The Emergency Happy Hour Friend


The Emergency Happy Hour Friend


Why: This friend has the psychic power to tell when you need a good, stiff drink after a long day. You need them in your life to help justify a second glass of chardonnay on a Tuesday night.


Bonus Points: These friends make the best “Saturday night in your late 20’s” friends… usually those nights consist of throwing major shade at everyone who's younger than you in the bar.


NBC / Via headoverfeels.com


The Complainer Friend


The Complainer Friend


Why: They complain to you, and you complain to them. There is nothing too big or too small, and they totally get it (or at least they pretend to, which is just as fine). It's the world’s most perfect symbiotic relationship.


Bonus Points: Neither one of you complain about the other one who's complaining about complaining. Yeah.


Paramount Pictures / Via groupthink.jezebel.com


The "Not Involved" Friend


The "Not Involved" Friend


Why: Though this friend isn't part of your inner circle, they're a friend who knows all the major players and can give advice that is oddly spot on. They are like your friendship cootie catcher. They are imperative for sanity.


Bonus Points: They’re really fun to bring around said “inner” circle and watch them interact.


Fox / Via socialanxietysupport.com




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Stephen Colbert Was So Ridiculously Adorable In College

Like, hang-his-picture-up-in-your-locker amounts of adorbs.


David Downs was a long-time acting teacher in the theatre department at Northwestern University. During his tenure, he took many candid photos of students, including one young (and unbelievably cute) Stephen Colbert:


David Downs was a long-time acting teacher in the theatre department at Northwestern University. During his tenure, he took many candid photos of students, including one young (and unbelievably cute) Stephen Colbert:


David Downs


He had a simply criminal head of hair, and a smile that could light up the whole damn universe.


He had a simply criminal head of hair, and a smile that could light up the whole damn universe.


David Downs


He looked fantastic in brown suspenders:


He looked fantastic in brown suspenders:


David Downs


And he owned at least one fabulous pair of white suspenders, too.


And he owned at least one fabulous pair of white suspenders, too.


David Downs




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26 Ridiculously Sweet Valentine's Day Nail Art Designs

Get nailed this V-Day. (Sorry.)


This colorful French mani offers just the teeniest, tiniest bit of festivity.



instagram.com


These hearts aren't bleeding. They just have strong roots.


These hearts aren&#39;t bleeding. They just have strong roots.


pinterest.com


Just what the love doctor ordered.


Just what the love doctor ordered.


nailedkit.com


Here's a creative thought — try forming words on separate hands.


Here&#39;s a creative thought &mdash; try forming words on separate hands.


indulgy.com




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Kate DiCamillo: "It's Easier To Do The Work Than It Is Not To Do The Work"

Daniel Handler, aka Lemony Snicket, talks with The National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature and recent John Newbery Medal winner Kate DiCamillo about children’s literature, profound failure, and kitchen appliances.



Via catherineasmithphotography.com


One, congrats. Two, BuzzFeed asked me if I was up for interviewing you. Wanna do it?


Kate DiCamillo: I do! Do you?


Yes, let's. We could do email or phone, whatever's easiest.


KD: Email? Email. Email. Every time I type the word it makes less sense. But then: what makes sense?


Alrighty then, first question — how did they tell you you won the prize?


KD: They called me. It was 5:30 in the morning. I have my coffeemaker set to go off at 6 o'clock. My coffee maker is my alarm, all of which is to say that I was still asleep at 5:30. I answered the phone and it was the whole committee on the phone and they told me this incredible thing and all I did was cry. I think I thanked them. And then when I hung up the phone, I wondered if maybe I had just dreamed the whole thing.


Do you have childhood memories of reading the Newbery books? I remember my school librarian telling me about the award and I thought, Surely those are boring books.


KD: Ha! Well, you are a tough customer. Yes, I knew about the Newbery as a kid. I knew to look for that medal on a book. I knew it guaranteed me a good read.

You didn't say how you are. How are you?


I am very well, thank you. Scratching in the ground at a new book idea, but we will see if it makes sense. I like this part, the very starting-out part with a book. What's your favorite part of writing?


KD: Hmmm. I like the starting-out part, the scratching around in the dirt part, but I suppose I am most happy when I have an idea of the shape of the thing and can settle into the work of making it better. That would be somewhere around the third or fourth draft, when things are starting to coalesce, cohere.


You've written a bunch of books now. Do you feel more confident at it? Or are you scared every time?


KD: I am scared every time. I want you to answer that question. Are you scared every time too?



Of course, and I try to tell myself that I should be glad to be scared — it keeps me on edge or something — but I'm still not glad I'm scared. How do you feel when you look back at prior work? How do you feel now about your most recent book?


KD: How do I feel when I look back at prior work? Hmmm. I think: I tried to do the best I could do. It's not perfect. It will never be perfect. And then I think: I want to try again. As for what I am working on now: It always amazes me that you never really learn how to write "a novel." You just learn how to write that novel. Do you know what I mean?


Yes, exactly, it's like a kitchen item you go out and buy for a specific recipe, and then for the rest of your life there's a weird pan or a tiny bottle of some crazy extract that won't help you with the next meal or the next or the next. I mean, though, how do you feel now about Flora & Ulysses? I always think publication is strange, because the book goes out into the world some months after you've put it to bed, so people start to think about it just when you're done thinking about it. And then, more time goes by and here you are winning a big prize for the book. But where is the book sitting in your mind?


KD: Ah, how do I feel about Flora & Ulysses? Well, to me this is one of the great things about writing kids books: the illustrations. So when I think about the book now, I see the characters Keith [illustrator K.G. Campbell] drew — the furless squirrel and the cynical girl and Dr. Meescham opening her door — and I feel warm and fuzzy. Does that make sense?


Yes, I always like it when sketches first start to come in. I have no visual sense, so I never have a clear picture of my characters. It's fun to watch someone take a few phrases of mine and go to town.


I started out as a poet. What kind of writer did you start out as?


KD: I did not know this, that you started out as a poet. Me? I started with short stories. Thinking (ha!) that they are shorter, therefore they are easier.




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Ackman Pours Out Some Whiskey Profits

Bill Ackman’s hedge fund Pershing Square sold 7.3 million shares of Beam this week for $608 million. A Japanese beverage conglomerate announced it was buying Beam on January 13.



Brendan Mcdermid / Reuters / Reuters


Hedge fund manager Bill Ackman has started taking his profits from his massively successful investment in Beam, the liquor company that has agreed to be acquired by the Japanese beverage conglomerate Suntory. Beam is the second largest whiskey seller in the U.S. and owns the Jim Beam, Maker's Mark, and Knob Creek brands.


According to regulatory filings, Ackman's hedge fund Pershing Square sold 7.3 million shares of Beam for $608 million. Pershing now owns 13.5 million shares of Beam, or 8.3% of the company, before this week, its stake was 12.8% of Beam with 20.8 million shares. Pershing sold the shares this week in six batches at $83.28 and $83.36. Beam closed this week at $83.30.


Suntory announced its plan to acquire Beam and create a trans-Pacific liquor conglomerate in a $13.6 billion all-cash deal, acquiring Beam for $83.50 a share on January 13. Since then, the price has bounced around the sale price. Beam's stock jumped up 24% from about $67 when the deal was announced giving Pershing about $370 million in profits on paper.


Ackman bought into Fortune, a brand conglomerate that owned the whiskey brands in 2010 and encouraged it to break up into three separate companies: one for its home goods and security business which included Moen faucets and Master Lock, one for its golf business including the Titelist brand of clubs, and then the whiskey business in Beam.


Fortune would sell off the golf business to Fila and a South Korean firm for $1.2 billion and spun off the home and security business in 2011. The entire Fortune brand business had a $7 billion market capitalization before the split up three and a half years ago. Beam agreed to be sold for more than twice that.


If the Beam acquisition goes through at the announced price of $83.50 a share, Ackman would be leaving about $1.6 million on the table by selling now. Ackman tends to only own stakes in 10 or so companies at a time and is typical for him to take gains and move them into a new deal.


Ackman's success in Beam stands in contrast to his recent large losses — maybe up to $700 million — he's taken in his massive $1 billion short bet against the nutritional company Herbalife. According to his most recent investor letter in October, Ackman's $10.8 billion fund is up slightly on the year.


Photos Of Paul Newman On Stage In Drag

And he looked like a rather convincing woman.


Behold: It’s a 24-year-old Paul Newman (left) in a production of Charlie’s Aunt during his senior year at Kenyon College in 1949.


Behold: It&rsquo;s a 24-year-old Paul Newman (left) in a production of Charlie&rsquo;s Aunt during his senior year at Kenyon College in 1949.


Kenyon College Special Collections / Via Flickr: kenyon_special_collections


Newman played the lead in the comedy, which was produced less than week after a fire at the college claimed the lives of nine students.


Newman played the lead in the comedy, which was produced less than week after a fire at the college claimed the lives of nine students.


Kenyon College Special Collections / Via Flickr: kenyon_special_collections


His performance was not only hailed as great, but also as a welcome relief to a campus in mourning.


His performance was not only hailed as great, but also as a welcome relief to a campus in mourning.


Source: Paul Newman: A Biography, by Marian Edelman Borden


Kenyon College Special Collections / Via Flickr: kenyon_special_collections


But, Newman wasn't the only who dressed in drag. That same semester he wrote, directed, and produced the Kenyon Revue, were he made his fellow students dress up as women too.


But, Newman wasn&#39;t the only who dressed in drag. That same semester he wrote, directed, and produced the Kenyon Revue, were he made his fellow students dress up as women too.


The show was a rousing success.


Kenyon College Special Collections / Via Flickr: kenyon_special_collections




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31 Reasons You Can't Wait For Baseball Season

Take me out to the ballgame… like, yesterday.


Because ice cream tastes better when it's served in a tiny cap.


Because ice cream tastes better when it&#39;s served in a tiny cap.


Flickr: 91624023@N00


No more of this one game a week nonsense — *cough* football *cough.*


No more of this one game a week nonsense &mdash; *cough* football *cough.*


seattle.mariners.mlb.com


You can finally use up all of the sick days you've saved to skip out of work for games.


You can finally use up all of the sick days you&#39;ve saved to skip out of work for games.


That damn flu really catches up to you around April.


Paramount Pictures / Via isambie.blogspot.com


There's nothing better than tossin' back a cold one at a game.


There&#39;s nothing better than tossin&#39; back a cold one at a game.


Via blogs.thescore.com




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What Do Your Personal Political Beliefs Say About You?

The answer could surprise you!


Fateful Findings Is Your New Favorite Cult Film

Forget The Room . Neil Breen’s cringe-worthy thriller is your new obsession.


Fateful Findings is a paranormal thriller where a computer hacker exposes worldwide secrets.


Fateful Findings is a paranormal thriller where a computer hacker exposes worldwide secrets.


We know that because it says so right on the poster.


Via fatefulfindings.biz


Here: watch the trailer.



Amazing, right?


Via youtube.com


Breen plays a writer with mild magical powers who gets hit by car in his very first scene.


Breen plays a writer with mild magical powers who gets hit by car in his very first scene.


Panorama Entertainment / Via youtube.com


But that doesn't dampen his love life.


But that doesn&#39;t dampen his love life.


Panorama Entertainment / Via youtube.com




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7 Reasons Why Jennifer Lawrence Would Be The Best BFF

“If I don’t have anything to do all day, I might not even put my pants on.”


Someone Mashed Up "Game Of Thrones" With Different Disney Movies And It Works So Perfectly

Westeros is the most magical place on Earth.


Tumblr user paloma-nevada put together this perfect mashups of your favorite Disney and Game Of Thrones characters.


Tumblr user paloma-nevada put together this perfect mashups of your favorite Disney and Game Of Thrones characters.


paloma-nevada.tumblr.com



paloma-nevada.tumblr.com


Like for instance, the idea that Lord Varys and Littlefinger are a really great treacherous version of Timon and Pumbaa.


Like for instance, the idea that Lord Varys and Littlefinger are a really great treacherous version of Timon and Pumbaa.


paloma-nevada.tumblr.com



paloma-nevada.tumblr.com




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19 Pieces Of Advice From Tami Taylor That Will Make You A Better Person

She’s the role model y’all want and need.



DirecTV via ssammys.tumblr.com



DirecTV via ssammys.tumblr.com




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15 Incredibly Creative Examples Of Coffee Cup Art

Courtesy of artist Miguel Cardona.


Artist Miguel Cardona has been illustrating his coffee cup every day. "While in San Francisco, I have been frequenting this coffee shop, Cafe Sophie. I love the way they wrap my coffee with a napkin, and I felt compelled to give each one a personality", Cardona writes.


"I began drawing one for each coffee I drank there. I have been drawing on and documenting all of my coffee cups since.Also, all of the cups were improvised and drawn with sharpie markers. No pencils or pre-planning."


Via Flickr: smartmiggi



Miguel Cardona / Via miguelcardona.com



Miguel Cardona / Via miguelcardona.com



Miguel Cardona / Via miguelcardona.com




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This Is The Most Adorable Photo Ever Of Crack-Smoking Mayor Rob Ford Getting Tickled

Rob Ford getting tickled by a fellow Toronto official! Squeeeeee!


Here it is. The most adorable picture of Mayor Rob Ford getting tickled by Toronto Chief Budget Officer Councillor Frank Di Giorgio.


Here it is. The most adorable picture of Mayor Rob Ford getting tickled by Toronto Chief Budget Officer Councillor Frank Di Giorgio.


Aaron Harris / Reuters


No. Wait. This. THIS is the most adorable photo of Mayor Rob Ford getting tickled.


No. Wait. This. THIS is the most adorable photo of Mayor Rob Ford getting tickled.


Aaron Harris / Reuters


Whoa. Hold on a second... This. Definitely. This is the most adorable photo of crack-smoking mayor Rob Ford getting tickled.


Whoa. Hold on a second... This. Definitely. This is the most adorable photo of crack-smoking mayor Rob Ford getting tickled.


Aaron Harris / Reuters


Man. Rob Ford getting tickled. So adorable.


Man. Rob Ford getting tickled. So adorable.




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