There are lots of small, achievable things you and your parenting partner can do every day to stay Jay and Bey–level connected.
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Always say hello and good-bye.
The hellos and good-byes are often the first things to fall away once couples have kids, Los Angeles–based licensed clinical psychologist and professor of psychology Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., tells BuzzFeed Life. But you can fix that by making a conscious "front-door policy."
"Make sure you at least lock eyes with your partner when they come through the front door," Durvasula says. It takes less than two seconds to kiss, hug, or touch hands and exchange your own personal greeting, but, she says, "it keeps the connection alive."
Take an adult time-out before lights-out.
After the kids are asleep and you're about to hit the sack, take 10 minutes before turning out the lights to lie together in bed and talk. No devices, and no talking about to-do lists, bills, or babies. Just have a conversation about the crazy story you read online or the weird dream you had the night before.
"People love feeling like they're special and a priority in their partner's life," New York–based marriage and couples therapist Irina Firstein, LCSW, tells BuzzFeed Life. Make this a time to make each other feel like the priority.
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If you need to fight or have a serious conversation, do it IRL.
Having an argument over email or, worse, text message is definitely not a smart move. "You can't read tone, intention, or feeling in a text," Southern California–based clinician, author and couples therapist Stan Tatkin, Psy.D., tells BuzzFeed Life. "Even emoticons can be misread as hostile."
You and your partner need to be face-to-face when you talk about heavy matters, he says. This way you can pick up telltale expressions and emotional cues that are important to what someone means.
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